Tragedy and Destiny
by gwenavery
Summary: (Zutara) For a hundred years the world prayed for deliverance. It asked for a savior, begged the spirits for release. Their prayers were answered. The Avatar came, he trained, he prepared. No one expected this. No one expected failure. Any hope that the world had is lost. The Avatar is dead and salvation rests in the hands of his friends. Warning: major character death
1. Chapter 1

Katara has never been more terrified for someone's life than when she fought Azula. Zuko lay on the ground, twitching, like a half dead animal. Luckily that turned out okay but now she was scared again. It had been three days and there had been no word from Aang, or Sokka, or Suki, or Toph.

At first Katara was successful in keeping her worry for her brother and her friends at bay, she had been occupied with healing Zuko. He had walked out of the fight with his sister but still wasn't completely healed, and now fear began to set in. The area on the earth kingdom border was only a two day ride on Appa's back, if she was being generous. even if there were complications they would have received a messenger hawk or _something_.

Katara wrung her hands and looked out the window of Zuko's room. She had refused to leave his side, for good reason too. he often had seizures in the night and she felt uneasy sleeping anywhere other than on the couch a few feet away from his bed.

Zuko's soft, steady breathing over her shoulder help some with the anxiety creeping up her chest. She didn't have to worry about him anymore. She had healed the soon-to-be firelord well and was proud of her work. As the soft fingers of dawn came into the room and Zuko stirred behind her Katara could help but pray to the spirits for her friends, her family's, safety.

…

Zuko was surprised to see Katara already sitting up on her couch staring at the sunrise over the sea when his eyes flickered open. He didn't say anything for a moment and just watched her.

She was hugging her knees. The blankets she used during the night were strewn over the couch with the exception of the one draped around her. Katara's chocolate curls cascaded, loose, down her shoulders. She must have taken it out of the strange bun contraption in the night. A distant look sat in her eyes and she seemed deep in thought; a crease forming above her brow. She had grown more agitated and nervous over the three or four days they had spent together; holed up in the palace. Zuko knew she was worried about her brother and her friends.

Katara must have heard him stir because she met his eyes.

"Good morning" She stood with a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She left her blanket on the couch and walked over to him. Zuko knew she slept in her bindings and he had seen her in them before but he always found himself staring at her. She pulled her tunic on and tired it loosely at her waist and zuko reminded himself to politely avert his gaze.

The firebender sat up and winced, his abdomen felt like it had been stabbed with a million dull blades.

"You're up early." Zuko tried to hid his grimace of pain, but Katara noticed it immediately and came to his bedside resting the back of her hand on his forehead and then his cheek. Zuko found himself absentmindedly leaning into her hand, he didn't know the last time someone had touched him with such gentleness before the last few days they had spent together as Katara healed him. He drank in the coolness of her calloused palm.

"I couldn't sleep, I'm worried about Aan- I mean you, I'm worried about your wounds."

Zuko cocked an eyebrow. She must be having the same fears as him. She was nervous, he could tell, her fingers shook as she unraveled the strips of cloth on his chest and her eyes looked unfocus. Zuko grabbed her hand to stop her.

Only a few weeks ago he would have never dreamed of touching her without her permission but lines had been crossed since then, there was a trust and intimacy he had with her. They had experience so much together in such a short time. He had seen her so vulnerable, yet strong facing Yon Ra, and just a few days ago he more than willingly almost died for her without a second thought. Luckily he didn't have to because of her amazing healing. He was forever indebted to her.

"I'll be okay, you already raised me from the dead, if you can do that you can take care of anything." Katara smiled sadly and looked away from his bandages sitting on the bed next to Zuko. She flipped her hand over so there fingers intertwined. Her eyes met his and stayed there.

"I didn't 'raise you from the dead' Zuko."

"You might as well have." She broke their gaze and stared at his chest her eyes like glass.

"There'll be a scar you know."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." Zuko said immediately.

Her head shot up. "Really? But you already-"

"I'm not ashamed of my scar, Katara." Zuko reached up to his eye. "This scar shaped me to become who I am, without it I would never have met the avatar, without it I would never have met you. And _this_ scar" he rested his hand on his bandages. "This scar I'm proud to have. Thank you, and I know I've said it a million times, but thank you Katara." Her blue eyes glistened like the sea, a tear escaped down her face. Her voice cracked when she spoke.

"Thank you Zuko, and I'm so sorry, for everything. I'm sorry for not trusting you, I'm sorry hating you for so long, I'm sorry for not giving you a chance even before Ba Sing Se."

"Don't be sorry, Katara." Zuko reached up to wipe the tear away. She incased his hand with her own and raised t to the side of her face a quiet sob choked through her.

"And I'm worried about the Avatar too."

"How did you know?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Lucky guess?"

"I just hope they're alright."

"He'll be okay, they'll all be okay. They have to be." Zuko, once again without thinking, pulled her close to him in an embrace. The way she was sitting made it a bit awkward but Zuko didn't care. He held her for a while her face nestled into the side of his neck. He wanted to be as close to the water bender as humanly possible. Zuko has known since the instant that he took a bolt of lightning to the chest for her that he cared for her more than anyone else, besides his uncle. She was so different then him but the same in all the ways that mattered. He wanted to share everything with her. Every secret in his heart was hers for the taking, any item in this grand palace they sat in, he would give to her if only she asked but for now he held her. This wasn't the time for his feelings. Katara was worried about her friends and he was worried about his newfound family and right now the only thing they had was each other.

They sat here for a while. It was honestly very uncomfortable for Zuko. There was a lot of painful pressure on his wound but he didn't mind. Yet, Katara must have noticed his grimacing. She sat up, quickly wiped her eyes and drew some water from a pitcher next to the bed.

"Where does it hurt?"

The rest of the day went by without any word from their friends. Zuko was finally able to walk around enough to give Katara a tour of the floor of the west tower where they had been staying. The whole tower was the private quarters of the firelord and his family. There were countless bedrooms, sitting rooms, and private dining areas. There was even a full gym, and practice arena in the tower but they stayed on the floor that Zuko's room was on. It was the quarters of the children of the firelord and their rooms and servants. Zuko wasn't very impressed with the floor himself, he had lived there his whole childhood, but he could tell that katara was awestruck.

As they walked, slowly, through the corridors she traced her hand along the walls and furnishings.

"The workmanship is exquisite! It all looks so much more fancy than anything I've ever seen."

"All the materials and workers that built it were fire nation. I used to think it was amazing that something so grand and intricate could be created solely by my nation. But now I realize that not doubt my ancestors refused help from the other nations as some sort of power play, I wonder how much more beautiful would be if it was built by all four." Zuko looked around the darkly painted hallways and the deep reds and golds of the furnishings. This place did not hold fond memories for him. Katara's voice brought him out of his scowl.

"Even if it was built solely by the fire nation you can still see hints of other styles. See the carvings on the windowsills? The pattern is similar to some in the upper ring of Ba Sing Se. The way these columns are positioned is almost the mirror image of the ones in the North Pole, and the stairways are just like in the air temples." Zuko followed her as she walked through the corridor.

" I never noticed that before," Zuko said quietly " I guess you really can't separate the nations no matter how hard you try."

Katara nodded and turned to look at him him,"That's why Aang exists, he's the bridge between the spirit world and the physical but the Avatar is also the bridge between the nations."

"My uncle taught me that the nations were one, like the redirection technique, he would incorporate all kinds of styles into his bending. I wish I had listened to him sooner." Zuko thought of that day on top the mountain how he was so desperate to be struck by lighting. He was confused, and just wanted to feel something again. The firebender rested his hands on his bandages. He got his wish.

"Your uncle is very wise." Katara said glancing at his hand.

"Yeah, but you never realize until it's too late."

The tour did not help their spirits much and when the pair returned to Zuko's rooms they were more anxious than ever. Zuko opened the door for Katara and she went to sit on the bed. Zuko closed the door and sat next to her. They stared at the wall in silence for what seemed like hours Zuko didn't know what Katara was thinking but in his head images of the past few months played through. He saw images of his ship exploding, of fighting Katara countless times and now the waterbender was his most trusted ally, he saw his time living in Ba Sing Se, he saw Jin, someone who hadn't thought about in who knows how long, he saw the caves, the look in Katara's eyes when he betrayed her. He never wanted to see that again. Glimpses of being home at the palace again and confronting his father, and how powerless he felt under the eclipse. Finally, he saw his times with the Avatar and his friends, he saw Katara. He turned to look at her she was bathed in the golden light of sunset. Her blue eyes looked like the sky on a clear summer's day.

"Katara I-" there was a rap on the door, loud and urgent.

They both sprung to their feet. Zuko opened the door first.

A servant stood at the door holding a single scroll on a platter it had a grey ribbon and the seal of the white lotus.

"From General Iroh, sir" Zuko took the scroll and opened it without even dismissing the servant and began to read.

 _My Nephew and Master Katara,_

 _I hope your mission has brought you success. I regret to inform you that the Avatar has failed. The fleet was successfully extinguished and I have received word that your other friends are safe but Aang is dead and my brother is returning to the Capitol immediately. Leave as soon as possible._

 _Iroh, the dragon of the west_

As the scroll fell out of Zuko's hands the room exploded.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two:

Everything that held water erupted. The pipes in the wall that took water to the suites bathroom, the jug that held what Katara had been using to heal him, the water in the few potted plants in the room burst and froze where it was, suddenly the walls were coated in ice and Katara kneeled in the middle of the chaos, staring at the floor, unmoving.

Zuko had instinctively leapt into a defensive form expecting an attack but when he saw it was only Katara he lowered his hands. He had almost forgotten how powerful she was.

Quickly he turned to the servant.

"Gather some supplies in a war balloon enough for a journey to the earth kingdom." The servant rushed away immediately and Zuko turned his attention to the grieving waterbender.

…

Katara couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. That was the hardest part, breathing.

She stared at Zuko's carpet.

The room spun and spun and spun.

 _Aang? Dead?_ No _._

It couldn't be. Aang couldn't just _die._ Someone like him didn't just _die._ he couldn't. The world needed him. _She needed him._ He was her closest friend, and her greatest ally. He couldn't just cease to exist. He was the Avatar.

The last time they had spoken to each other they had argued. That would be his last memory of her; angry, frustrated.

She couldn't breathe.

 _She couldn't breathe._

Katara's body spasmed with the effort. Sobs began to rack through her chest.

 _No_

 _No_

 _No_

 _No_

NO.

Amber eyes. Amber eyes looked into hers. Warm like the sun, worried, angry, and scared.

 _Zuko_.

Suddenly everything snapped back into focus. It was jarring. She felt like she needed to hurl. She gagged and nothing came out but a sob.

 _Zuko._

His hands were in her hair, tangled and knotted. They anchored her to reality, to this room. He was whispering something but she couldn't hear, not over the great ringing in her ears.

 _Zuko._

He brought her into an embrace. His strong arms encircled her. Finally Katara let the tears fall. She felt Zuko's breath against her neck it was warm like the noonday sun.

 _Aang._

He was gone.

He had left her. Aang left her like her father had. Aang had left her like Jet had, like her mother had. Aang had left her again like all the times before. He always ran away, like in the desert, like on the ship, like he had just a few days ago. He ran and ran and ran. Yet, he always came back. No matter how much she doubted, he came back.

Aang wasn't coming back this time.

Zuko pulled Katara all the way into his lap. She found herself driving her head into his shoulder, putting pressure on her eyes. Looking for something, _anything_ , to release this numbness, to release the numbness that curled up her chest and made her blood run cold. Katara finally began to hear what Zuko was saying.

"Katara, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'll always be here." She heard him sniffle a bit. "I'm here, it's okay, you're okay, I'm here." He repeated it like a mantra.

"He was supposed to win, it was supposed to be okay, I was supposed to go home, _I want to go home Zuko._ " She whispered into his skin. The robe he had draped over his shoulders had fallen somehow. He smelled like spices and something clean and fresh and entirely his.

"I know Katara, I know. But people need you, your brother and Suki and Toph need you. The world needs you, we need to save the world. _I need you_ _Katara._ I can't do this by myself. Please Katara, we have to leave, my father will come soon and we can't still be here when he arrives." He took a deep shuddering breath, he skin began to heat up. "Goddamn I'll kill Ozai with my two bare hands if I have to."

Katara breathes deeply. _I need you_. That's what Zuko had said. It was just them. Them against the world, people needed her to be strong. Katara never turned her back on the people that needed her. She stayed strong when her mother died, for Sokka and her father. She stayed strong for her tribe when her father and the warriors left. She stayed strong when Aang ran, for her friends and now she will stay strong, for Zuko, for her family, for the world.

Katara straightened up, took a deep, shuddering, breath and looked into Zuko's eyes,

"What do we need to do?"

Katara moved to the bed as Zuko stood and went to retrieve the note.

"There was more after my uncle signed it." He murmured, almost to himself.

Katara finally looked around the room at the damage she had done. It was beautiful, in a strange way. The ice that coated the room glowed as the sun went below the horizon. It was otherworldly. She should probably clean it up, but they didn't really have the time.

Katara turned her attention to Zuko as he read over the note again. Afew stray tears rolled down his cheek and he had a strange look on his face she had only seen once before when he told her about his mother below Ba Sing Se. It was vulnerable and childlike, with an underlying anger. Katara realized this was Zuko grieving.

"My uncle wants us to go to Master Piandao's mansion, there will be more directions there, apparently Sokka and the others are on the opposite Earth Kingdom shore." Katara nodded and stood and grabbed her bag over in the corner of the room, continuing to wipe away tears that _wouldn't stop_ falling _._

"We can take Appa." She spoke up.

"No, we can't," Zuko shook his head. He began gathering his clothes as well, he had to shake ice off a couple items. "he's too noticeable. We'll be flying over fire nation territory."

"I know, but we can't just… leave him." Katara stood still. She thought of all the adventures she and her friends had on the back of the bison. She remembered how panicked Aang was when he was stollen.

 _Aang._

Katara shook her head she needed to focus, it's what Aang would have wanted.

"I know… but… it's dangerous Katara."

Katara had made up her mind.

"We have to take Appa, it can work. If we fly high enough and I bend cover, it'll be okay." Katara turned to Zuko, he had stopped packing to and was looking at her. "And he's Aang's and I can't just leave him behind."

"I understand." Zuko looked at the window. "We have the cover of night so that's good, we should leave within the hour."

Katara nodded and shouldered her pack. Zuko was looking at her again, this time he was frowning.

"What?" Katara raises an eyebrow.

"You need new clothes." He said bluntly.

"Why? We won't be landing in any towns these ones are fine." Katara was planning on flying until they got there.

"It's a risk I don't want to take you can use some of Azula's. Your about her size." He turned away and cleared his throat. Katara thought of Azula sitting in a cell in the palace dungeons. It must be hard for him.

"I know you don't want to leave her here Zuko."

He sighed and swallowed.

"I just… it's just… my father won't treat her kindly. He'll see her defeat as a failure. He'll kill her, or worse."

Katara crosses the room and untwined her fingers with his.

"We should take her with us. The Fire Lord won't look for her at Piandao's.

He shook his head"No it's not safe to have her on Appa with us."

Katara squeezed his hand once than let go.

"Put her on that balloon we were gonna take and fly her there with a firebender you trust. We'll send a letter ahead to warn them. And if Piandao doesn't like it he'll have us to deal with." She looked into his eyes, they were sad. "We won't leave her behind, she'll be okay."

"Thank you Katara, that's a good idea." Zuko swallowed and sighed deeply.

Katara softly smiled.

"You should still borrow her clothes."

Katara wrinkled her nose, "but won't all the spikes and stuff be _a little_ noticeable."

"She does have clothes without spikes."

Katara ended up with an outfit similar to Zuko's, simple, but well made. It was obviously fashioned to go under armor. As Katara helped Zuko down the stairs and to the ground floor she still couldn't shake the cold numbness of grief. If her mind was quiet for too long she would start thinking about Aang and a tear would fall down her face.

A small part of her still didn't accept that he was gone. With her mother she saw her burn until she was nothing but a scorched parka and her necklace. There were no doubts, just pain, so much pain. But now there wasn't a body just uncertainty and numbness.

Her and Zuko were silent all the way to the front doors of the palace, both of them seemed to be deep in thought.

When they came to Appa the bison was snarling at some servants who held provisions and supplies that they were attempting to load him up with.

"He knows something isn't right." Katara muttered.

Appa has always been fine-tuned to the emotions of everyone. He had such a deep connection with Aang that it wasn't surprising that Appa knew something was terribly wrong. Katara unhooked her arm, which had been supporting him, from around Zuko's waist and tried to walk calmly towards the raging Appa. She made it past the servants and the bison began to growl at her. Katara reached out her hand.

"Hey bud, it's me, it's me; Katara. I know your scared and we're scared too. Aang's gone and he isn't coming back, and I know how upset you are. I understand." Appa kept growling but he lowered his head to look Katara directly in the eyes. Her hand met his muzzle and he leaned into her touch. "I know your sad Appa. I know your confused, but we have to go now. He have to help Sokka and Suki and Toph. I know you remember them." Silent tears ran down her cheeks. It pained her, seeing Appa like this, seeing him so upset and tumultuous. It made all her emotions resurface. She saw herself in the terrified eyes of the bison. "Everything will be okay Appa." Katara came closer to him and wrapped her arms around his head burying her face in his fur. His animal musk brought back memories of the adventures she had on his back,and the adventures she had with Aang.

"Everything will be okay. It has to be"

Katara flew Appa first while Zuko rested in the saddle. The day's events seemed to have taken a lot out of him emotionally and physically. Katara knew he tried to cover it up and put on a brave face for her but she could tell he was exhausted, angry, and grieving. She also knew that his wound wasn't helping. Getting him up onto Appa had been an ordeal and with the bison still being on edge it made the whole project much more difficult.

Katara was okay with not having anyone to talk to. Being by herself up above the clouds gave her time to clear her head. The moon was full and she found herself thinking about Yue.

Just like the Watertribe Princess, Aang had sacrificed himself for the people he loved. Katara had known from the beginning that it was a possibility that the mission would fail but she never let herself linger on the thought for long. Now it was all she could think about. Anxiety bubbled up in her gut as she thought about the repercussions this would have on the world. They had lost their last chance at hope. Katara didn't even know if he had been struck down in the avatar state. Even if he hadn't and there was another Avatar in one of the water tribes, Ozai wouldn't wait around for another decade and a half for them to reach maturity. The world was in her hands now, her and Aang's friends an allies. She and Zuko needed to get to the others as fast as possible. They needed a plan. Aang wouldn't have let them accept defeat.

Wrapping her head around the fact that he was gone was difficult, if not impossible. Every time she thought about it she felt nauseous. Katara had only known Aang for a year now but he had become such a presence in her life. She had put so much faith in him. Probably too much if she was honest. All the hope she had left she had put on his shoulders and he was only twelve.

 _Was._

Past tense. That was the worst part of death. Aang wasn't an "is" he's a "was".

Katara felt like she should be crying. She should be raging and angry and thirsty for blood but she just felt empty. Maybe the wrath and emotion would come later. Hopefully she wouldn't stay this cold and hollow.

The night sky began to turn grey with dawn. She needed to wake Zuko up. Katara couldn't bend the clouds to create cover and guide Appa at the same time.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Zuko felt warmth flood into his veins as the sun crowned the horizon.

Katara had stirred him about an hour before, it had been comforting to wake up to her blue eyes looking at him. She was beautiful in the dawn with her hair curling around her features in the wind. He wished he could stare at her for the rest of his life, but then he remembered the events of the day before. His mood fell considerably.

Now he sat at Appa's head seething. He didn't quite know how Katara was feeling on the inside but the dead look in her eyes after they received the news terrified him. She looked like a shell, like a husk of the powerful woman she used to be. He wanted his father to pay for making her like that.

It was Ozai's fault. Zuko wanted to turn around and wait at the doors of the palace for his father's return. Zuko desired to watch the firelord burn on the front steps of the monsters own house. Zuko felt violent and vengeful. It took every ounce of discipline he had not to explode.

It wasn't just how Katara was feeling that upset him. He also thought of how the world must be feeling. There was no way the news of the Avatar's death had gotten out to the corners of all four nations yet. That meant somewhere out there someone was going about their normal day unaware that the life as they knew it was on the brink of destruction. They didn't know how a single death could turn the world on its axis.

Zuko had never been that close to the Avatar himself. Over the weeks they spent together they had developed a sort of friendship and Zuko respected him. Aang was a powerful bender, loyal, and merciful, sometimes too much so, but he had always been Zuko's pupil and Zuko was his teacher. The kid had always been more of a means to and end, no matter how horrible that sounded.

Zuko needed to capture him so he could go home, Zuko needed to train him so the world was safe. Him and Aang never really clicked. The avatar was immature and unfocused but Zuko didn't want him _dead_. In honesty Aang was the only one who really had a chance against Ozai and now he was gone. The last hope of the world destroyed and retribution was in order.

Zuko glanced back at Katara. Her expression was neutral as she bent the clouds around them. They were lucky that it was a fairly cloudy day and katara only really needed to focus on the sunny areas. They had been skimming the top of the clouds for a while now and zuko couldn't ignore that it was beautiful. They had turned pink, orange, and purple. Watching Katara was the best part. Her form was impeccable. She crafted the swells around them with skill and precision.

Appa finally came to a thick, low, cloud bank they could just fly over and Katara sat down and scooted towards the edge of the saddle closer to Zuko.

"How are you doing?" She said, concern etched on her face.

"Pretty okay, it's a little cold but I'm not tired yet."

She turned away, not meeting Zuko's eyes.

"No I meant...with Aang." She said quietly.

Zuko frowned. "I dont really know, honestly. All I feel is anger. I'm angry we didn't win. I'm angry at my father, so, so angry at him. I'm angry at the universe for letting this happen. I'm angry at myself because what if this my fault? I feel like I didn't teach Aang enough. We didn't practice enough, he wasn't prepared. But mainly I'm angry at Ozai. He's a disgrace, he killed so many." _He made you cry._ Zuko didn't add that part.

Katara was silent for a while, like she was deep in thought. Zuko knew she would speak when she was ready.

"That's what I felt like when mom died." Zuko turned to look at her. A silent tear rolled down her face. "I was so angry and I was out for blood. When we faced Yon Rah…" she took a deep breath. "I thought I would kill him, I _knew_ I would kill him. I was prepared for it. But I guess what Aang said-"

Zuko interrupted. "It wasn't anything that Aang said that made you spare him. It was you. You showed him mercy. Not Aang. You."

Katara pulled her knees up and rested her head on her arms. Her voice was quiet and cracking, "That's a side effect of living with the most important person in the world for a year. You lose yourself."

Zuko stared at the sunrise. She continued, her voice a little more confident. "But I found myself too, I learned things about myself I never would have learned holed up in the Southern Water Tribe. I helped people and I learned things, and it wouldn't have been possible without Aang." Katara turned to Zuko. "And it's not your fault, we did the best we could, and now...now where just gonna have to do better."

Zuko gazed at her. The morning light made her skin glow. He knew he shouldn't blame himself and her saying that fact confirmed in his head that there was nothing he could do. Calm settled over him, like the calm he felt when Katara healed him, cool and refreshing. Wrath still writhed within him like a dragon and he new that the dragon would not be calmed without proper retribution but for the time being tranquility spread over his chest. Now Zuko wanted Katara to be okay. She put on a courageous facade but he knew that she was grieving deeply. Suddenly something on the horizon caught her eye.

She sat up into a crouch and pointed at a spot of land through the clouds on the horizon.

"That's the island." Her and Zuko made eye contact. "Bring me slowly down to the water."

Zuko followed her directions and let Appa make a slow descent down the the sparkling sea. Out of the corner of his eye Zuko saw Katara stand and begin a complicate movement with her arms.

As the dropped through the storm front a sort of hole opened up for them and the clouds began to unnaturally swirl around them. Appa was completely encased by the dark grey thunderheads that moved like a coiled snake poised at the waterbender's command. He saw lightning flash somewhere within the storm and a chill went up his spine. Zuko's robes where soaked with mist and as they dropped down beneath the thick storm. Thick sheets of rain began to fall all at once.

Zuko whipped his head back and saw Katara's arms mimicking the pattern of the rain. No, not mimicking, _controlling._ Zuko was breathless he had never seen such amazing power from bending except from Aang at the North Pole. She was commanding the entire storm.

"Hey!" She shouted at him as a crack of thunder rumbled his chest. "Stop staring and _drive_!"

He quickly turned to sea the churning sea rushing towards them. Over his shoulder he heard her yelling again.

"Get me as close to the water as possible!"

He obey her order and he brought Appa down towards the surface. His huge paws skimmed the surf and waves began to lap onto the saddle.

Zuko was quickly losing his grip on the slick reins and he held on more so to stay on the bison than guide him. Appa was eerily quiet and Zuko quickly wondered if he had done things like this before.

Almost suddenly something switched in the atmosphere. The space they were flying through calmed and the rain began to form a roof over his head. Zuko glanced at Katara once more and saw she was in the same stance she took when stopped the rain during their confrontation of her mother's killer. He was just as impressed this time around. The wind stilled and all was silent.

The tempest raged just outside of their little bubble, pounding on the outside like rain on a glass window.

Zuko couldn't do anything but stare. For a few minutes he tried to wrap his head around what she had done. Katara, simple Katara from the little village he had marched into only a year ago had just _summoned a storm_ from afew dark clouds. He needed to stop underestimating her.

He saw a dark mass in the distance as a they grew closer he could tell it was the Island.

Zuko heard Katara speak up from behind him.

"If I remember correctly his house is near the middle of the island. The village is on the eastern shore but since we're coming from the west we shouldn't be spotted. I'll bend some fog just incase. I won't be able to keep it up for long and we will have to find a body of water to fly along." Zuko nodded as katara bent away their little water umbrella. The rain had begun to slow. Zuko didn't know if it was Katara's doing or if the storm had decided it was done. As they neared to shore Zuko saw the mouth of a river and steered towards it.

Tendrils of fog began to rise besides them and soon they were completely encased Zuko couldn't see anything in front of him.

"Fly to the right a little we'll be at the mouth of the river in about two minutes."

Katara said quietly.

Zuko followed her directions, "how can you see through this fog?" he said, squinting to no avail. Zuko could barely see Appa's horns in front of him.

"I can't, but I can sense the currents in the water, like you can sense when the sun is rising."

"How did you know that?"

"You wake up every morning the second the sun comes over the horizon, I'm not stupid."

"How did you know _that_!? _Are you watching me_? Because that's creepy." Katara scoffed. He could almost hear her roll her eyes. "I'm not _watching you._ Our rooms were next to each other in the Western Air Temple and at Ember island. You were basically my alarm. When you got up to "meditate", or whatever it is you did, I knew that it was probably time for me to get breakfast started for everyone."

"Oh" Zuko hadn't realized that anyone had noticed him. He didn't think much of the fact that when he came back from warming up by himself, no pun intended, before he started firebending practice with Aang, that Katara had begun breakfast. He just thought she was an early riser too. A dark thought entered his mind and Zuko frowned. There would be no more warming up with Aang anymore. Zuko tried to shake it off.

"So where are your waterbender senses leading us now?" Zuko inquired.

"Well, we're about to come to the river and enter a wooded area." She was right. All of the sudden there were sounds of a forest. Birds started singing and frogs began to make noise. There was the rustle of the breeze in the trees and the soft lapping of the water below them.

"I'm impressed." Zuko raised his good eyebrow.

"I literally created a storm half an hour ago and this is what your impressed with." She dead-panned.

"Hey, that was awesome but you were a little occupied so I couldn't compliment your storm summoning skills at that exact moment."

Zuko barely heard her snicker to herself.

They flew slowly as they went farther down the river. Katara periodically gave Zuko quiet directions but the farther they went he could tell she was getting tired and anxious. Appa was obviously nervous; not being able to see where he was going, but he seemed to trust Zuko steering him and stayed quiet.

"I don't really know exactly where his house is. Sokka never explained it in detail." Katara said about an hour into traveling down the river.

"How does Sokka know Master Piandao?" Zuko had thought that Katara just new him from the white Lotus and had just stopped on the island, not long enough to build up a relationship of any kind.

"He taught him swordsmanship back before the eclipse."

Zuko turned to look at her.

"He taught Sokka? How do I not know these things?"

Katara have him a funny look.

"For one, I have no idea how you don't know that, he hardly ever stops talking about it, and two, why does it matter?"

Zuko smiled to himself.

"Master Piandao taught me how to use my duo swords when I was first banished. We took refuge at his house at first because he was a friend of my uncles, I didn't know he was in the white lotus at the time." Zuko looked at the fog emptily. Memories of that time began to trickle in. "He really helped me, he taught me that even with being banished and dishonored. that I wasn't completely useless. Generally fighting with weapons is disgraceful for benders in the Fire Nation but with the help of my uncle he showed me that I could incorporate bending into swordsmanship, at the time I didn't appreciate it but after a while I realized that his advice really helped me in those first few years. He gave me confidence and helped me get over my scar, or at least showed me that being half blind in one eye didn't have to hold me back."

Katara was silent. Too silent. He turned to look at her. She had an odd look Zuko couldn't quite place and her eyes were wide and round. Anxiety creeped up his throat.

"Katara? Katara what's wrong?"

She swallowed and it was a moment before she spoke.

"Zuko…" she paused think hard about what she would say next. "Zuko, does your scar… does your scar have something to do with why you were banished."

Zuko knew this would happen one day. Eventually everyone asked about it. He never told anyone the same story but it had been weighing in his chest for so long he was finally ready to. And he trusted Katara so much and he cared for her so much that not telling her felt like lying to her, and he never, ever, wanted to lie to her. He squeezed his eyes shut and prepared to start the story when she spoke up again this time she sounded spooked.

"What is that." Her voice was as quiet as a whisper. Zuko followed her gaze to a shadowy mass not ten feet in front of them.

His body stilled, like a piece of prey caught in the crosshairs of a predator. Zuko had been on edge for the past four days. He raised his hands in an attack position.

The silhouette cleared up a little and it revealed itself to be a boat house. Zuko breathed a sigh of relief and he heard Katara do the same. He didn't let his guard down completely and was about to turn back to Katara when he saw the pattern of a lotus tile on the side of the building. He could barely make it out but he held up a small flame and the image became more concrete. To a normal passerby it would have just been a decorative addition or maybe a family crest but Zuko wasn't fooled. He locked eyes with Katara.

"We're here. "


	4. Chapter 4

"We'll be back in a couple days, Appa. Then we can go find Sokka,Toph and Suki I promise." Katara rubbed the muzzle of the great animal.

Her and Zuko decided to leave him down by the riverside while they stayed with Piandao. If something didn't go as planned and they needed a quick escape he would be close enough but they couldn't quite keep him at the mansion. Appa was a little hard to hide.

The bison made a low rumbling in his throat and wandered off into the trees. Katara turned to Zuko and shouldered her pack.

The firebender was waiting for her at the head of a wide trail that headed up the hill. He was leaning against the tree not so subtly holding his wound. He looked up when she approached him. "How is it?"

"It hurts." With a grimace, Zuko straightened up from the tree.

"How much?" Katara inquired worriedly .

He had received serious internal damage from the lightning strike. Katara tried her best with what she had, and had even used bloodbending to knit some organs together. Which was a painful process for both of them, but he was not supposed to do any serious exertion for weeks and it had only been four days.

"A lot" Zuko grunted.

"Oh. Do you want me to see if I can help?" She uncapped her water skin and was about to make him lay down on the forest floor that moment but he spoke.

"We need to get to the Masters house, than you can heal me. I'll be okay." Katara wanted to argue, but Zuko was right, they needed to get a plan together. Getting information as soon as possible was key and they had almost none. The only help they had gotten was a short note and Katara's mind had run wild in the hours since then. They needed solid word of what the hell was going on.

Katara nodded. "Okay fine, hopefully this path isn't too long."

Luckily, the trail was only a half a mile long but was uphill the whole way. It seem like eternity. Both Katara and Zuko were quiet for the hike. Katara distracted her mind with thinking of the conversation she had started to have with Zuko back on Appa.

She had been able to put together bits and pieces of Zuko's past together from the last couple of months, including their conversation in the catacombs. The only thing she knew was that his mother was gone, he had been banished by his father who told him he could 'regain his honor' by retrieving the Avatar, and that him and his sister didn't have the best relationship. Katara had figured the scar was from a battle gone wrong before or after the banishment. It was obviously emotionally charged but she had no clue who had given it or why.

Her mind took her to very dark places, and fabricated events that were very unlikely and Katara shook the thoughts away. It was none of her business anyway.

 _But isn't it?_ A voice in her head inquired.

 _It could be important to whatever is going on._

The cave under Ba Sing Se flashed into her mind.

" _I used to think this scar marked me. The mark of the banished prince, cursed to chase the Avatar forever. But lately, I've realized I'm free to determine my own destiny, even if I'll never be free of my mark_." Zuko's words echoed in her brain.

He had never specified how he had received his scar but Katara knew he would tell her in time.

Something had happened, something really bad. Zuko's past was hard for him and Katara had no right to demand the story. She had bigger things to worry about anyway.

With much huffing, puffing and groaning they reached the end of the trail, exhausted. Katara hadn't gotten proper sleep or rest in days and Zuko had a giant hole in his chest.

A large estate stood in front of them; surrounded by gardens and fountains and encased by a stone wall.

They plodded to the main gate and Katara took on large gold knocker and banged it against the door.A large intricate engraving of a lotus tile spread across the door, which she hadn't noticed the first time she came.

Katara found her confidence waned as she remembered the week they spent waiting for Sokka to train. It had been nice to spend some down time with Toph and Aang.

The numbness reappeared. Aang had always seemed untouchable, he was only twelve, still a kid. Now he was gone. Coldness spread through Katara's limbs. She wanted her brother. Sokka had always been there to comfort her, to give her tough love. Maybe the sooner she saw him the better she would feel.

 _Zuko_

Katara glances over and saw him staring at her worriedly.

"Are you okay Katara?" There was a softness in his eyes.

Katara could easily stare into his eyes all day. Ever since Ba Sin Se Katara's feelings about Zuko had switched. In the air temple she never stopped watching him, keeping an eye on him. She had convinced herself for a while it was because she didn't trust him. Zuko could turn on them at any moment. There was no way he was _good._

Yet, after their mission to face Yon Rah Katara didn't have a reason not to trust him. She realized she had more of a reason to do the opposite, and her thin excuses fell apart. It was true, Katara trusted Zuko now as much as the others. Yet, it was had been stared at him for different reasons. Watching him train with Aang, often shirtless, had made something in the core of her stomach simmer. Even past his… pleasing exterior… Katara found that her and Zuko understood each other. She had a connection, a bond, she didn't have with Toph or Suki or even Aang and Sokka. She cared for him deeply and it scared her.

Katara lost the people close to her, her mother, her father left, and now Aang. The feeling in her brain that had been firing off she hadn't felt, well, that she hadn't felt since Jet and now he was gone too. Katara didn't trust this feeling. It only lead to sorrow and pain.

She realized she had been staring at him for too long to be normal and a strange look crossed his face. She shook her head and turned away.

"Yeah, I'm fine"

Zuko opened his mouth to say something but the gate opened to reveal a bearded man who Katara recognized as Master Piandao's butler.

"Master Katara, Prince Zuko," he bowed to them in turn. "Come in. The Master has much to discuss with you."

Katara's head didn't clear of the fog that had been floating inside of it until they sat down in Master Piandao's dining room. It contained a huge round oak table covered in maps and charts but the most eye catching thing was the food that was laid out between the parchment. There was a very large of pot of stew that smelled absolutely heavenly, two huge bowls of noodles, a variety of vegetables and fruit, smoked fish, as well as a pot of rice and stir fry. Katara thought she might cry. They hadn't eaten at all in at least two days and she hadn't had a good meal not cooked over an impromptu campfire since her stay with the Earth King.

Just on time her stomach growled like a hungry moose lion, and her mouth filled up with saliva. She swallowed quickly and turned to look at the butler. It took all her self control not to scarf down a whole bowl of rice that second.

"The Master will be back shortly he is running an errand in town. You may eat."

Katara didn't need to be told twice.

Next to her, zuko started with the stir fry and rice which he sprinkled with an orange sauce she didn't recognize.

Katara went for the stew forgetting about the spoon next to the pot and bending a stream into her bowl.

It was rich and hearty. There was a form of meat she couldn't quite place and the broth had spices and vegetables that made made her mouth water. Warmth spread through her body.

" _Mmmmhhh_ " Katara closed her eyes and sighed.

Zuko made a noise next to her and Katara glanced over. He was trying to swallow what he was eating while his chest convulsed. Katara sprang into worried-healer mode. "Zuko? Are you okay? Are you choking? Zuko?" He swallowed and Katara relaxed but then he burst into laughter. It was a sound Katara had never heard out of him. His face grew red and he doubled over. It was a good sound, it matched his baritone voice nicely, but she did not appreciate it directed at her.

" _Hey!_ " Katara pouted and crossed her arms.

"That… was…" another fit of laughter "the _funniest_ thing…" he started to giggle. Zuko started to _giggle._ "I have _ever seen._ " He rested his head on the table still shaking. "Oh spirits… sweet Agni. I don't think I've seen anyone enjoy stew that much." Katara tried to stay irritated but she couldn't and cracked a smile too.

"Well…" she started "it's good stew."

There was a beat of silence and then they both erupted into laughter simultaneously. Something heavy in Katara's chest lightened. Laughing was good. Laughing with Zuko was good.

 _Even after Aang died for you? Even after Aang sacrificed his life for the world? Your a traitor. It's like you don't even care at all._

Katara stopped short. The voice in her head came out of nowhere, but it was right. She was here, laughing, indulging herself, when Aang just _died._ She was being ungrateful. The fog returned.

Zuko must have noticed something changed. He stopped laughing when she did.

"Katara, what's wrong?" He said it seriously. He expected an answer.

Katara sighed and poured some rice on her plate it would be the last thing she ate. It was wrong to gorge herself on this food. She was selfish.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

Katara went back to her rice and began to pick at it.

"Katara, your not fine. What's wrong? Please tell me I can't bear you not trusting me." Zuko said earnestly, he set his chopsticks down and turned towards her. The change in mood of the room was obvious and unsettling.

It broke Katara's heart to hear Zuko so pleading. Of course she trusted him. She just didn't trust herself.

Why should she? She was selfish, and weak. She failed her friends, she failed Zuko, and she failed Aang. She had assured Zuko only a few hours ago that this wasn't his fault. That they had done the best they could. When Katara had said it she believed it but the voice in her head was right. She had been lying to herself. No, it isn't Zuko's fault, it's hers.

The realizations hit her like a tidal wave and Katara sat there staring at her rice, paralyzed.

…

"Katara?"

Zuko didn't want to pressure her but he also knew something was wrong. There was a lost look in her eyes. He had seen it before. It was terrifyingly familiar.

 _Azula was young, only ten Zuko and his sister had stopped having bending classes together years ago. For a while she seemed to have enjoyed the challenge. Reviled in the hard work. But their father had been growing more and more agitated and increasingly violent._

 _One evening Azula walked into Zuko's room and sat on his bed._

 _Zuko himself had been studying a few charts and drawing out fake battle plans. Which was something he had always been better at than bending. He expected his sister to start talking like she usually did, but she stayed silent, unnervingly so. Zuko finally looked up from his books. Azula lay there, curled up in the fetal position rubbing her hands methodically._

" _Azula what's wrong."_

" _Nothing...it's fine."_

" _Azula…"_

 _She curled into herself farther. Zuko stood and crossed the room sitting next to her. He waited._

 _She spoke, quietly._

" _Dad made me hurt someone today. I was practicing lightning and he told me to aim it at this soldier."_

 _Zuko wrinkled his brow. "Is he okay?"_

 _Azula didn't say a word, just shook her head and met her older brothers eyes._

 _Zuko saw something there, a guilt, an emptiness that never quite left, it morphed into something cold, and calculating, but was always there. Like some dark part of her soul had taken over and sent her mind spiraling farther and farther into darkness._

Zuko had lost his sister, maybe forever. He would not loose Katara too.

He sensed what she was feeling. Similar thoughts had been swimming in his brain.

Zuko gently grabbed her wrist and she dropped her chopstick. She turned to him, something in her face was pleading.

"Katara, this isn't your fault, none of this is your fault." He said brushing a stray hair away from her eyes. She turned away from him, but didn't reject his touch.

"But isn't it Zuko? There was so much more I could have done. So much more I could have taught him."

A price of his heart broke "No, Katara, please don't blame yourself. You don't deserve it."

She whipped around her eyes welling with tears and ferocity.

" _But dont I Zuko?_ I was supposed to take care of him! It was my responsibility to train him, to prepare him! He needed me Zuko. _And I failed him."_

Zuko grabbed her shoulders, the meal on the table forgotten.

"No Katara _you don't deserve any of this._ You don't deserve the blame you've put on yourself, you don't deserve the punishment you think you do. You think you didn't do enough? You did _everything._ You took care of Aang, you feed him, and trained him, and cared for him and loved him _like a mother._ Without you, Aang wouldn't have made it past the South Pole. Don't blame yourself because in the end, Aang, _a twelve year old kid,_ couldn't defeat my father." Zuko took a shuddering breath. "I know you never turn your back on the people that need you Katara, and it feels like you failed Aang. But you didn't."

"But he _died_ for me. And…here I am… stuffing myself and laughing with you, when we just _lost._ It's selfish. _I'm selfish"_

Zuko wished he could dive into her mind and choke the life out of whatever made her think that about herself.

"Katara…" Zuko laced his fingers into her hair, "Katara, the last thing you are is selfish." He looked into her eyes they were round and tearful but thankful. He found himself drawing closer to her.

Their lips met.

It wasn't the most skillful kiss he'd ever given, or received. But it was definitely the best.

Something in Zuko's gut began to burn. His heart jumped to his throat. Every thought left his head. Zuko felt her hand rest on his chest as she deepened the kiss and he felt Katara's tears on his cheek.

Katara pulled away. Their faces still rested close to each other.

"Thank you Zuko."

…

The moment her lips met Zuko's Katara knew this was right. A kiss had never felt _right_ before.

With Jet, kisses had been hurried, chaste, and forced. Kissing Aang had just felt strange, uncomfortable and too sweet, like cake that was too rich to enjoy. He always took her off guard, and afterward her stomach felt like she had eaten something rotten. Kissing Zuko? Kissing Zuko felt exhilarating.

Before their lips touched her thoughts had felt crowded and cold and she was drowning in them, but suddenly her mind cleared. She felt like she could breathe again. She knew that kissing him wasn't solving anything, but a few questions were answered, most of them by the fact that he kissed her back.

When their contact ended her intrusive thoughts came swirling back, but a little duller than before.

"Thank you, Zuko." his amber eyes burned like two suns. She could help but want to embrace him and never let go. "I don't want you think I don't trust you. Lately, I trust you more than anyone else. I just don't trust myself." Katara choked on her tears. She felt like she was always crying. It was very frustrating.

"Katara, I can't _bare_ to see you blame yourself. I would jump in front of a thousand more lightning bolts to take the pain from you." Zuko's voice was steady and sincere. Katara felt something blossom in her chest.

"But only if i was there to heal you right?" She said quietly.

Zuko took the sides of her head in his hands and she felt his lips on her forehead.

"Katara when I took that lightning I wasn't thinking about if you could heal me or not. My only thoughts were saving you. I would do it over and over again, healing or no healing."

All the feelings she had been mulling over at the gate came to fruition.

Zuko was willing to die for her. She had never felt that kind of love since her mother all those years ago. She would not lose Zuko like she lost her mother, like Zuko lost his mother. She would not abandon him, and he would not abandon her. Not now, not ever.

They simultaneously collided and went into another kiss. This time more passionate and less timid. One of Katara's hands slid over his shoulder. The other threaded through his hair. She had dreamed about touching his hair a million times. It was even better than she imagined. The spices on the food he had eaten made her tongue tingle. She felt completely relaxed and at home.

Zuko seemed to be having the opposite reaction. She felt his pent up energy in every muscle she touched, trails of heat traced down her face and back from his fingertips. While her breath was slow, clean, clearing out her lungs and making her airways open up. Zuko's was quick and hot and he could hardly catch it. When they separated for a moment Katara heard Zuko mutter something into her neck, where his head had dropped.

She breathed a out a laugh into his shoulder. "What did you say?"

"I said." His voice was low and gravelly, which was _incredibly_ attractive . She felt his lips touch right under her ear and a chill went up her spine. "You don't know how long I've wanted to do that." He moved her hair away and Katara stretched out her neck where he began to trail his lips towards her collar bone.

"Trust me, Zuko, you're not the only one."

He chuckled and his warm breath tickled under the collar of her tunic.

She was about to go in for another kiss when her stomach growled loudly and angrily.

"Eat your food Katara." Zuko said sitting up and looking her in the eye. His hands still stayed on her waist. "It's not selfish to take care of yourself."

Katara still had her doubts but she pecked Zuko one more time on his lips and turned to her food.

" _Fiiiiine_. But this." Katara gestured between the two of them. "Isn't over yet." Zuko smiled slyly.

"Of course."

The rest of the meal was peppered with nudges and long looks. Katara finished her meal. She still felt a bit guilty but she couldn't deny she was starving. The dark part of her mind had been successfully distracted anyway. Her head felt clearer than ever and the pressure that had been sitting on her chest had lifted, but energy thrummed through her limbs. She found her toes wiggling in her boots out of their own accord.

Katara really liked kissing Zuko, far more than she thought she would.

She really wanted to do it again.

Katara couldn't stop thinking of the feeling of his lips on hers and the spots he had touched still tingled. She would steal glances at the firebender and find him looking back at her with a funny little smirk on his face.

Yet, doubt kept creeping back into her mind. No matter how many time she assured herself that everything would be okay, no matter how much she reminded her brain that it wasn't her fault. She kept going back to the thought that her actions had caused everything.

 _Aang probably lost because you weren't supportive of him when he left._

 _Zuko doesn't actually like you. He'll see that your a fuck-up in the end._

 _You couldn't even keep the Avatar alive._

 _You should just leave now._

 _No one will ever love you. Everyone leaves you. Even Aang didn't like you anymore. He just liked whatever perfect person he made up in his mind._

 _You're not even good enough for him._

These toxic thoughts bombarded her brain like the storm earlier but the few moments she had shared with Zuko were keeping her dry, like the bubble she had bent. she replayed them in her mind's eye and ate her noodles.

 _Authors Note: Thank you to everyone for reading this far! I know this took a long time but its a longer chapter and I've had a lot going on in my life. This actually wasn't the planned ending for this chapter but I had to cut it in half. Part two (chapter 5) is in production. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR READING._

 _and I'm sorry for my grammer mistakes_

 _TTFN_

 _Gwen_


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